☆ Encourage them to be self-forgiving when they make mistakes -- help them to see what they have learned from them and what you have learned from yours. Challenge their negative talk and make sure youre not too stressed to see the silver lining, too.
☆ Make the celebrity culture work for you and them -- keep abreast of their current heroes. If they dont know much about them, do some research together to see what has helped them become successful and stay motivated. Magazines and the Internet are full of interviews and stories about how famous people made it. You can then refer back to this meaningful wisdom when the going gets tough. For example: David Beckham didnt get where he is today by staying up all night playing computer games, or Kylie Minogue is so attractive because she smiles all the time.
☆當他們犯了錯誤時，鼓勵他們原諒自己--幫助他們學會從錯誤中獲得教益并告訴他們你從自己的錯誤中得到了什么教訓。反駁他們的消極談話，自己一定不要過于壓抑以至于看不到失望中的一線希望。
☆讓明星文化為你和孩子們發揮作用--了解他們當前心目中的英雄人物是哪些。如果他們不太了解這些人物，那你就與孩子們一起做些調查，看看是什么幫助這些明星成功并時刻讓自己獲得激勵。雜志和因特網充滿名人如成功的訪問記和報道。當與孩子的交流出現問題時，可以回想一下并利用這些有用的智慧：比如“如果戴維·貝克漢姆整個晚上都玩電子游戲，他肯定不會取得今天的成就”或“剴莉·米諾格之所以如此迷人，是因為她總是面帶微笑”。
☆ Encourage them to be self-reflective when they get it right -- help them to think about the hows and whys. Reminding them of things they have done well in the past may also help. For example:You seemed to have no trouble getting down to that essay. I wonder why it was easier for you to do your homework this week? Or: Do you remember during the exams last term, you found thinking positively and not panicking really seemed to help you?
☆ Hold back on negative criticism until they have made their own assessment. For example:Do you think putting yourself down all the time is motivating you? is better than saying:You shouldnt put yourself down -- it doesnt help. Similarly: Do you think you have lost interest partly because you are so tired? is preferable to: If you got to bed earlier, you would feel differently.
☆當孩子做對了，要鼓勵他們進行思考--幫助他們想一想是怎樣和為什么把事情做得很好的。讓他們回憶過去做好的事情，這樣做也有益。比如：“你寫那篇文章似乎并不費勁。而且你做這禮拜的作業也更為容易?”或者“你還記得上學期考試時你發現處事樂觀、積極，考場上鎮靜不慌確實對你很有幫助嗎?”
☆在他們做出自我估價之前，克制反面的批評。例如：“你認為總是灰心喪氣會對你有什么幫助嗎?”的說法比說“你不該灰心喪氣，這對你沒有好處!”要好。同樣：“難道你不覺得有時疲勞會使你失去興趣嗎?”就比“如果你早點睡覺，感覺就會不一樣!”更可取。
☆ Encourage them to revel in their successes -- teach them that celebrating achievements can inspire others and that it can be done in a way that doesnt sound like bragging and doesnt make other people feel small. Dont forget that for developing self-motivation, it is more important to celebrate the smaller milestones than the major achievements -- they are naturally more rewarding.
☆鼓勵孩子為自己的成功歡呼雀躍--告訴他們慶賀自己的成就能夠激勵他人，做法可以既不夸耀自己也不貶低他人。記住，要發展自我激勵意識，慶祝較小的進步比慶祝大成就更為重要--它們當然更有回報。